The lessons of my daughter
Seven months ago, I met my most demanding client and best mentor.
The moment I looked into her eyes for the first time, I realised responsibility had just taken on another dimension. The tiny hands, the chubby feet, and those huge blue eyes looking at me, knowing the unknown. I gave birth to my daughter at the end of November 2024, and ever since, I've been taking some of the most important lessons in my life. The simplicity she brings to all of it is so profound and powerful that I am most grateful for the chance to have her and our time together.
She teaches me to stick to a routine.
In our Western culture, where flexibility is highly valued in almost every aspect of life, I learned quickly that a routine is what makes babies thrive. And I discovered I thrive with it, too! A solid daily schedule creates predictability and safety, and frees time up.
Day in and day out, she requires me to be clear.
While she is super clear about what she wants and needs, she wants the same in return. The clearer I am about what is happening next, the more relaxed she is and goes along with my plans.
Presence & Contact
I've always been approachable and connected to the people close to me, and yet this relationship brings another dimension to the topic of contact. A baby's brain doesn't get logic at that stage, and they also don't understand language. Babies simply feel things. She wants me to be there for her, present and engaged. This is not about doing but simply being - sitting there, feeling her, getting into her world.
Integrity
This is a huge one, although it manifests in such tiny actions. As I am a big fan of the attachment theory (check out John Bowlby if this is new to you), I do my best to help her develop a secure attachment style as she grows up. She is still learning to be on her own, so when I leave the room and say - I'm back in a moment, I have to be back in a moment. The moment is not long yet, perhaps just a couple of minutes. The point here is that this is the way she learns to trust. If I want to gain her trust and become a safe person for her in the long term, I have to stick to my word. I will be back in a moment, which is then pretty literal.
The more I do what I say, the more she trusts and bonds with me. It is a form of feedback without words but through gestures and behaviour, and it is the most beautiful and exciting experience I have had.
After nearly 20 years in the construction industry, I’d say that all those skills are essential for maintaining healthy client relationships and creating beautiful architecture that brings joy to the people who use it.
Now, seven months later, as I continue to learn and grow, I feel ready to re-enter the working environment again. As I am currently splitting my time between London and the German countryside, I am open to new projects, clients, and opportunities on both sides of the Channel. For any ideas, collaborations or questions, please drop me a line to start the chat.
