Kill your darling or how to move from stuck to excited.

‘Kill your darling’ is the concept of proposing the opposite of what you consider your best idea to date. To suggest it to your clients is risky, but it can be extremely powerful and rewarding. I did this recently and the result was phenomenal. But let’s start at the beginning and explain the steps I took in more detail:

Earlier this year we started working on a private residential property in the Richmond area. The client is my ideal client on paper and the project is exactly the type of work I love doing and I’m good at; medium size residential development. Even though it’s a rental property, it was inherited from the client's aunt so there was a little personal connection to the home as well.

I was so pleased with the project and hugely excited to start work on it. But skip a few weeks ahead and I found myself stuck in the pre-planning stage with a client who was reluctant to proceed. We were discussing layout options, we had extended discussions of whether a rental property needs a utility room or not, and although he seemed happy with the designs, he didn’t submit the planning application. I was confused.

After a chat with the agent on the project, it dawned on me that something was off and we needed a more radical approach if I wanted the project to continue with the client convinced he’d made the right decision.

So I decided to try the kill your darling approach: what if we arrange the layout in a completely different way? What if the new extension is not in place of the old conservatory? What if the bedrooms change position, while the kitchen/living area is much closer to the entrance? What if? …And the list continued.

I’m not a big believer in starting with a white canvas and ripping out all existing walls. White canvases could be absolute freedom, or could end in chaos and confusion.

Obstacles and boundaries give us something to relate to, to push against. It’s the same with existing buildings - the existing structure creates spaces and relationships which are exciting and full of opportunities waiting to be explored - how do I want to feel when I enter this home? What does comfort mean to me? What is convenient? Where do I want to meet my guests? How do I want to wake up? These are just some of the prompts in our design process.

Applying all of that with the idea of killing the previous darling, I found myself in front of a floorplan flowing naturally through the existing building structure, considering the sunlight available and creating harmonious connections to the outside spaces. I must admit I was thrilled with the new idea.

Now it was time to present it to the client.

I asked for a meeting in person, which seemed totally outdated in these zoom times, but he agreed. And we had the most powerful conversation I could imagine, exceeding all my expectations.

My client was impressed. He called the new design revolutionary and was even a bit annoyed that he hadn’t come up with the idea. (This is where architects really can add value - we think differently to surprise and awe you!)

Beyond the conversation about architecture I could much better understand and sense what was standing in his way to proceed and what he would need to feel more at ease with the project moving forward. It was a conversation between professionals trusting each other and genuinely interested to work together. This is the power of meeting in person. The level of understanding and trust you can create is nowhere near the conversations on a screen.

I left with the confirmation to submit planning and an excited client motivated to continue working with me.

The new darling doesn’t need to be killed - it’s the best possible solution for the property. In 9 out of 10 cases the kill your darling approach will confirm that your first idea was the best one. In our case we experienced the 1 out of10 case, where there is something better, more beautiful, and more functional. It’s a risky approach as you might need to let go of something you’ve already fallen in love with. And yet totally worth the risk when it either confirms your initial brilliancy or you discover a new level of creativity you hadn’t considered.